you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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