How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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