I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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