you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
