when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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