I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
