ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
