Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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