Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
