Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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