He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
