Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
