Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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