then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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