She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
