im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
