Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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