I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
