Define "chronic" masturbator.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
they're like a gay fantastic four
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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