FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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