Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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