Its about making memories worth repressing
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
