I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
