i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
