i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
