He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i will never coherently bang her
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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