So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
