there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
