Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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