Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
