I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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