i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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