Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
