I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
