You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
