I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
