Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
