I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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