I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
