I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
