Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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