your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just high enough for therapy.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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