you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
