I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
