dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
