My underwear smells like fireworks.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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