those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
