No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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