I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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