plz talk dirty to me
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
