I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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