I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
