Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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