the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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