meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she peed on how many people?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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